Wednesday, February 3, 2010

LOST and wine ( A beautiful combo)

Wow. Thats really all I can say right now. Wow. This past year has had unbelievable highs and awful deep, deep lows. A year ago today I could not walk. I had no feeling on the surface of my left leg from my knee down, the pain was inside. I could not stand in the shower. I was out of work becuase of this. I was facing a very scary surgery. (no one knew I was scared shitless)I had a great job that I couldn't go to. I was with an amazing woman that I am still in love as I type this and I hope she knows it. I had a cane that all my friends signed that I have since burned and destroyed to forget the awful, crazy memories. I doubted my health. I hadnt done Bikram in nearly 6 months at this point. I was crying from pain and fear on a cold xray table while some short-statured doc stuck a needle into my spine. In a nutshell I wondered if I'd ever be like a had been in my prime. Healthy, happy.

Today- I walk EVERYWHERE. I work 13 hour shifts and leave work pain free. (knock on wood) I lovingly touch the 6 inch scar on my lower back that I have learned to love and adore really. I feel my calf just to remind myself that I have feeling. I do Bikram with reletive comfort at least twice a week. I have amazing friends that have stood by me giveing love and support. I am no longer with the amazing woman. I still have her in my life. I am proud to say she is still my best friend. The one I can say anything to. The one I still love immensely. Not changing anytime soon. (sorry future gfs. Deal with it. I do) Clemintine still eats likes a human, with 2 hands. Good girl. I still like pinot noir best.

I still have the same regrets. But alas... Now we can talk about them and grow.